(2007 film, based on the novel of the same name by Cecilia Ahem)

I believe this is the best “grief movie” I have ever seen. Hilary Swank’s character, Holly, goes through and back again, all the stages or emotions of grief. She is throwing-things angry; pulling-the-sheets-and-closing-myself-off depressed, and I-don’t-EVEN-understand confusion until she gets to the place where she can move on with her life.

To me the movie avoids the platitudes that plague most movies involving the death of a loved one. It does a realistic job of portraying the hard work that grief is and encourages the viewer that it is possible to come through the storm of grief. It also shows that in coming through you will not return to “normal” but will, instead, find a “new normal” in which to live your life.

My only criticism of the movie is that Gerry (actor, Gerald Butler) planned a rather elaborate “gift” designed to help Holly move through her grief. Most terminally-ill people do not have the opportunity and strength to plan such a complicated gift. In my experience with hospice and in my own grief walk, it is in brief, passing conversations that will come back along the journey, that the “gifts” will be found that bring you along into your new normal life.